I love the poly lifestyle, but I see a lot of this type of thing go on. I just chalk it up to having to create new values completely on our own, rather than dealing with a long established system of behavior from which we can all orient ourselves. The fact is that poly relationships are much more complicated both for that previous reason and for the very basic fact that you just have more people involved. One night stands aside, it is sometimes exhausting to be in a multi-person relationship because the act of caring for everyone and letting them be heard takes up so much actual relationship time. :)
Good luck in your journey. Thank you for raising the issue in a good forum for discourse, which is something poly persons really need, IMO. I (and my primary partner) was poly for a while, and have been going through a mono phase right lately, which may be coming to a close- it mostly relates to us feeling less sexy and unhappy about our bodies, which we are finally taking the space to address. (the whole post-kid get the sexy back deal) Best Wishes!
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Goddess of Java
Posted on December 7, 2011
I’m poly. If someone had asked me about this situation on The Polyamorous Misanthrope, I’d've had a one-word piece of advice.